The True Meaning of Connection
What a Dog Taught Me About Life, Leadership & Letting Go
Isn't it interesting how life sometimes steers us in directions we never anticipated? My journey with our family's most recent addition - Shadow - is a testament to this unexpected voyage. In March last year, out of the blue, an acquaintance asked us if we'd be interested in a Belgian Malinois x Border Collie puppy. My husband has always wanted a malinois, so I agreed (reluctantly) to consider it. When I first did a search on the litter’s breed mix, the overwhelming advice was a resounding "don't do it!" These dogs, so says the internet, demand endless hours of exercise, never settle down, and form intense bonds with one person—traits seemingly incompatible with my bustling family life. But sometimes, logic takes a backseat, and intuition rises to the forefront.
When I made the call to inquire about the litter, my intention was clear: show willing, but politely decline. I laid everything on the table—my terraced house, small garden, hectic family life, a grumpy resident terrier, chickens, and, did I mention, the hectic family life? Instead of discouragement, I was met with unexpected support and understanding. It was precisely because I was thinking ahead to what the pup would need and how it would impact our family that led me to be told that, in fact, we were exactly the right people to offer him a home. It was a pivotal moment. I still had some doubts, but my gut feel was a resounding yes, and so, driven by faith, I welcomed Shadow into our home.
Realising that I needed to enlist the help of experts, I contacted Shaun and Kim Ellis, of the Wolf & Dog Development Centre (The Wolf and Dog Development Centre) Armed with a notepad and pen, I was ready to jot down every detail needed to integrate this spirited pup into our lives. Shaun shared advice that was both simple and profound: "For the first few months, the key thing you need to do is focus on connecting with him." At first, this seemed overly simplistic. But as I reflected, I realised the depth of his words.
The Hemene Approach, which Shaun & Kim introduced me to, is a philosophy built on harmony, empathy, and mindfulness. It follows the natural way in which Wolves would rear their young in the wild. The approach builds on a deep connection with your dog, working with their natural character, and nurturing their social and emotional development. It raises our self-awareness, so we don't pass our trauma and challenges onto our dogs. The name "Hemene" comes from the Native American Numípu (Nez Perce) tribe, meaning "Wolf We Are One." This connection, this oneness, became the cornerstone of my relationship with Shadow.
Ten months have passed, and Shadow, who turns one year old this week, has become an integral part of our family. It's fascinating and humbling to observe how he interacts with each of us differently—seeking safety and rough play with my husband, engaging in mischief with one daughter, and training with quiet comfort with her twin sister. And with me? Shadow sees beyond my roles—mother, business owner, wife, daughter. He connects with the core of who I am. In his soft brown eyes, I find a reflection of my own essence, a reminder that I am enough, just as I am. Shadow is not just my dog; he is my mirror, my confidant, my Shadow.
Have you ever encountered a relationship so profound it challenges and changes you? Shadow has taught me that sometimes, the most unexpected companions can guide us to the most profound truths about ourselves. In nurturing him, I have discovered parts of myself that were long forgotten. Together, we are learning, growing, and finding comfort in the simple act of being present. And isn't that what life's journey is truly about—connecting, understanding, and ultimately, discovering who we are?
